Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
