so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize