Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
