there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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