we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
