she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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