I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
