just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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