what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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