u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
