sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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