I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize