Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
