I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
