i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize