you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize