So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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