You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize