I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
