Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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