Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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