There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
