and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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