I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
