how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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