and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
