great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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