he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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