I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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