Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
