I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
