my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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