We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
