I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
