Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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