Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
