Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
birth control should be required to get into college
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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