I cannot find my penis.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
