My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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