unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
