I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
