No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
