i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Small penises have feelings too.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize