So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize