I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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