I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize