She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
