If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
