Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it's like iHOP with fire
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
