its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
