Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
