we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
