this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
