Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
