Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
