he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
