I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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