i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
