i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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