:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
