You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
