Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
