what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You're a waste of cheezeits
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
