We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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