OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
