My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
