True but thats because hes a fetus.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
