how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
