why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
