Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
