That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
