he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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