It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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