I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
