oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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