My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
