I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
