She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
