If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
this is an emotional support booty call
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
