He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
