Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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