i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
