i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
