i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
