How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
