I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
