called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize