You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
