"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
