Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
