He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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