Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
