winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
