you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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